
A family on the verge of implosion begins to repair some of its wounds while taking an impromptu road trip after receiving a sudden invitation to the wedding of an increasingly distant aunt in Kim Ji-hyun’s warmhearted dramedy, Ideal and Weird Family (이상 가족, Isang Kajok). Kim deliberately plays with our own biases and expectations by beginning with the parents separated before confirming that He-soo and Da-sun are a same-sex couple whose relationship has degraded to breaking point largely due to the pressures involved with living in such a conservative and conformist society.
Indeed, Korea does not currently legally recognise same-sex marriage, yet Hee-soo and Da-sun refer to themselves as a married couple who are planning to “divorce”. Da-sun, a writer, seems to want to move out of their family home in order to be “free”, which appears as something closer to a midlife crisis and rejection of domestic responsibility than something fundamentally wrong with her relationship with Hee-soo and their two teenage daughters. Yet it’s later revealed that the cracks in the family’s foundations are partially caused by a differing approach to living an authentic life as a gay person in South Korea. Da-sun is already out and has a public profile as an award-winning writer, yet it’s Hee-soo who supports the family with her corporate job. As someone who works in a creative filed and doesn’t need to pay attention to office politics, perhaps it’s easier for Da-sun to be out while Hee-soo fears that being open about her private life will cause problems at work and impede her ability to provide for the family.
Hee-soo also fears that Da-sun’s openness will cause problems for their daughters, and it turns out that she’s at least partially right. Won was training to be a K-pop star and was apparently quite successful, but was kicked out of her agency when they find out that she has two mums. Won herself has posted whistleblowing videos about this on the interest, blasting the agency for its conservative views and defending her family even while threatened. She’s been trying to build a career as an influencer while posting her whistleblowing videos, but her viewers don’t seem to trust her and constantly ask for hard evidence to back up her claims. Sol, meanwhile, is more serious like Hae-soo but also wants to leave the family by going to boarding school and studying up on how to become financially independent. From what she later says, this may partly because she’s too sensitive and finds it difficult to accept the emotions of those around her knowing that they aren’t something she feels she can control.
They are all, in a way, experiencing their issues in isolation, unable to confide in each other while also yearning for their more ideal family. Da-sun’s family had rejected her because of her sexuality with her late father even threatening to have her struck off their family register. Her mother seems to be more accepting, though still struggling, but at the same time immediately identifies Hee-soo as the “wife” and sympathises with her, correctly guessing that Da-sun probably dumps all the domestic stuff on Hee-soo and takes her labour for granted. Da-sun says she wants to be her true self, but Hee-soo asks who gets to do that when raising children. “I didn’t get my divorce, you should at least get yours,” Da-sun’s mother advises recalling the similarities with her own marriage.
But if a visit to Da-sun’s traditional rural home answers a lot of questions, so does Hee-soo’s arrival at her younger sister’s wedding to a man she disapproved of. Ji-soo only invited her a couple of days before, apparently because her mother-in-law wanted to do a ceremony with Ji-soo’s family and both their parents have passed away. The snooty in-laws have, however, already hired a lot of paid guests to masquerade as Ji-soo’s family, even going so far as to bar Da-sun and the children from the ceremony. Suddenly, Hee-soo’s keep quiet attitude begins to crumble when faced with this apparent betrayal by her sister, realising that perhaps it was wrong to ask people to tell such a “big lie” by not mentioning that she lives with another woman.
Through each of these experiences and confrontations, the family members begin to work through some of their issues while rediscovering a sense of togetherness they may have lost amid the complications of modern life. They may all need to give something up in order to stay together, but may find that they gain more than they lose in the pursuit of their “ideal family,” something they may otherwise have lost sight of amid the pressures of living in such a conservative society.
Ideal and Weird Family screened as part of this year’s San Diego Asian Film Festival.
Trailer (no subtitles)








