Kung Fu Soccer (功夫女足, Stephen Chow, 2026)

Seven years on from New King of Comedy, Stephen Chow returns with another reimagining of a past hit in Kung Fu Soccer (功夫女足, gōngfu nǚzú), a new take on the 2001 global sensation Shaolin Soccer. Throughout the ‘90s, Chow had been one of Hong Kong cinema’s most bankable talents with a series of mo lei tau or “nonsense” comedies. There’s no getting away from the fact that the Cantonese language is intrinsic to the genre which heavily relies on zany puns and wordplay in addition to slapstick humour, though the later phase of Chow’s career has largely been in Mainland-friendly Mandarin as is Kung Fu Soccer.

As such, the film struggles to achieve the kind of comedic rhythm that made Chow’s earlier work so popular while its nonsense gags such as a man burning his leg in order to get rid of unwanted hair after mistakenly thinking someone talking on the phone about cooking pork was talking to him play out less successfully. As in Shaolin Soccer, Chow turns subpar CGI into a kitsch feature, leaning in to the unreality of virtual stadia and the uncanniness of a CGI ball being knocked around the pitch to create a cartoon world where the normal rules of physics do not apply.

This time around, the action follows the Emei women’s football team who face ageism and sexism after making a belated bid to win an Asian championship. Headstrong captain Shuang (Zhang Xiaofei) and her childhood friend Jade (Dilraba Dilmurat) are struggling to overcome a falling-out over Jade’s decision to leave the sport and get married only to return following her divorce, while Shuang has dedicated her life to football and kung fu but now at almost 40 is beginning to realise that she may have missed out on other life experiences and has no plans for the future. Shuang is an orphan who found a place within the team and fears abandonment, whereas Jade is a wealthy heiress whose devil-may-care attitude is informed by her financial security.

As expected, part of the path for the team’s success is getting the pair to patch things up, which they eventually do after a little manipulation by “Grand Uncle” Xu Feng (Lay Zhang), another childhood friend with a longstanding crush on Shuang she in fact returns but is unable to act on due to being arrested emotionally having done nothing but sport and kung fu since she was a child. The conclusion that Shuang is gradually guided towards is that she’s too intense and has lost her love of playing the game. She has a lack of empathy for her teammates and an autocratic management style that alienates those around her, a criticism that has been levelled at Chow himself in the past. It’s this internalised pressure that makes it difficult for the players to perform. If they chilled out a bit and rediscovered the joy of it, they might be better placed to face their opponents who also have their own particular quirks.

The film has also come in for criticism for the ways that it depicts the other Asian nations in the competition, most particularly the South Koreans who are shown to be obsessed with beauty and play in underhanded ways while the Korean spoken in the film is delivered unconvincingly. The team from India similarly have some kind of super-stretchy ability and the Australians are defined by aggression and tactlessness. The Japanese team, coached by Takeru Satoh in a cameo appearance, are mainly just violent while the decision to make their goalie a figure of fun for not being considered conventionally attractive seems very outdated and undercuts the film’s other messages of female power and solidarity. The Emei team face questions of ageism and are forced to constantly prove themselves, but eventually come out on top after learning to trust each other, pool their respective strengths, and just have fun playing the game. Backed by Carina Lau’s mahjong-obsessed grandmaster, they have perhaps learned to integrate their martial arts abilities and love of sport to overcome not only the prejudice held against them, but their own internalised anxieties.


Kung Fu Soccer is in North American, UK, & Ireland cinemas from 23rd October.

Trailer (Simplified Chinese / English subtitles)

Creepy Crawly (๑๐๐ ร้อยขา, Pakphum Wongjinda & Chalit Krileadmongkon, 2022)

While everyone’s busy thinking about a high profile threat of infection, an unexpected aggressor raises its ugly head in Pakphum Wongjinda and Chalit Krileadmongkon’s insectile horror Creepy Crawly (๑๐๐ ร้อยขา). Centipedes in themselves are little creepy given the undulating motion of their many legs and tendency to crawl out from places where you’d least expect them, but this particular bug seems to have undergone a mammoth evolution to become a bloodsucking parasite capable of threatening the human race!

The film opens with a naive vlogger getting lost in the Thai countryside and deciding to pitch a tent in the middle of nowhere while unable to locate her campsite despite having encountered an elderly person bleeding profusely from the mouth whom she does nothing to help. During the night she’s bothered by giant centipedes and then has some kind of altercation with the elderly person. Some months later, an emergency order has been placed on the country due to the arrival of the coronavirus pandemic. Another YouTuber, Fame, who is well known for uploading videos criticising hotel accommodation, arrives at a hotel which has been turned into a quarantine facility along with her brother, Fiew, and a family of three, adult Taekwondo champion Leo, his naive sister Lena, and their father who is deaf. 

Obviously, the centipede, which is later described as a Tablongplum which can possess a human body and feast on its blood, has somehow made its way to the hotel and is particularly interested in Fame because she suffers from a rare disease which means that her blood would enable the Tablongplum to live a very long life. However, the bugs aren’t the only threat in the hotel even if they’re first discovered by the only remaining maid, Pond, feasting on a dead rat in a vacant room. The sleazy manager, Wit, is paranoid about the fortunes of his hotel during the pandemic considering it has already been dealt a reputational blow after being identified as the source of a covid cluster. It’s implied that he’s only got permission to re-open as a quarantine facility thanks to a dodgy deal with an important person who has also turned up, ironically belittling Wit for wearing a mask while describing covid as a “just a cold”, for a completely free and very discreet overnight stay with his mistress. 

Those are just a few of the reasons that Wit refuses to listen when Fame and Leo discover a body at the end of a blood trail, accusing them of being in cahoots doing a bit for the YouTube channel to further discredit his hotel which even on the surface of things seems not to be particularly well run. With the hotel technically in lockdown and patrolled by an armed guard, the tension begins to increase once it’s realised that the Tablongplum can possess and take on the form of any of the guests meaning no one can trusted and the bug could be anywhere. Somewhat improbably, not only is it able to fully understand human language even independent of its human hosts but also seems to have some knowledge of culture and is aware of how various things work rather than just being a giant blood sucking parasite apparently able to control vast armies of much smaller but admittedly nasty bugs especially when they appear in large numbers. 

The solution seems to be “kill it with fire”, though just the pandemic the bugs prove hard to stamp out with the infection seemingly continuing even after the big bad is supposedly eliminated as the centipedes continue to dominate human society. The film seems to be making a minor point about silly YouTubers who endanger themselves or thoughtlessly ruin the lives of others for clicks while also laying the blame on sleazy managers like Wit along with the political corruption that enables a health hazard to continue long after it should. Meanwhile, tiny bugs eat away at the surface, undermining the foundations as they go. Seeing an entire hotel covered in horrible insects is undoubtedly creepy though perhaps there was something rotten there all along. In any case, it seems there’s no escape from nature’s revenge or its bloodsucking tendrils. 


Creepy Crawly is released in the US on Digital, blu-ray, and DVD on Oct. 3 courtesy of Well Go USA.

International trailer (English subtitles)